Leading Friends - The Hardest Kind of Leadership

You ever hear the expression “It’s lonely at the top”?

One of the hardest leadership transitions is stepping into authority over people who were once your peers — and your friends.

One day, you’re no longer in the maze of the cube farms.
You’re behind the glass wall.
Setting direction.
Making calls.
Owning outcomes.
That shift changes everything.
Conversations pause a second longer.
Jokes land differently.

People start watching which version of you shows up — the friend or the leader.
This isn’t ego.
It’s accountability.

Leadership means holding the standard.
Meeting the deadline.
Making decisions that aren’t comfortable — and sometimes cost connection.

Here’s the truth many avoid:

Leadership isn’t about control.
It’s about influence, development, and trust.

How I approach it:
🧭 Set the vision and the standard.
⬆️ Train people one level up.
🔧 Give them the tools and the trust to execute.
💡 Define the parameters, assign the mission, and get out of their way.

When you lead this way, accountability flows both directions.
Trust replaces proximity.
Performance becomes shared ownership.

And here’s what experience teaches you:
Real friends won’t make you choose.
They’ll respect leadership rooted in integrity — not emotion.

You don’t stop being a friend when you lead.
But friendship changes shape when results matter.

💬 Leadership isn’t about popularity.
It’s about trust.
And when the work is done, the people who matter will still be there —
not because you were their friend,

But because you were the leader who cared enough to make them better.